What’s always expected of a nanny, but almost never written into the job description?
Emotional regulation.
The job description might mention routines, meals, activities, school runs, bedtime and keeping children safe.
It probably doesn’t say:
Be prepared to manage the emotional temperature of the room all day.
But that’s part of the job, too.
Nannies are expected to stay calm when a child is dysregulated.
To hold space for big feelings without becoming emotionally reactive.
To de-escalate conflict.
To help a child transition between activities when they absolutely do not want to.
To navigate separation anxiety.
To hold boundaries when emotions are running high.
To adapt when the carefully planned day suddenly falls apart.
And through all of it, there is another layer of work happening:
regulating themselves while helping a child regulate.
Because emotional regulation in childcare isn’t simply about having a calm personality.
It means noticing what’s happening internally while staying responsive to what’s happening in front of you.
Managing frustration when patience is running thin.
Staying grounded when a child is overwhelmed.
Choosing a response instead of reacting to the moment.
Knowing when to pause, when to connect, when to hold a boundary, and when the plan needs to change completely.
And it means doing all of this across an entire day, not just during one difficult moment.
Being calm is part of the job.
Staying calm all day is a skill.
It’s rarely written into the job description. But it’s there every day.
